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Hey, finally a forum member

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1Hey, finally a forum member Empty Hey, finally a forum member on Thu Apr 18, 2019 10:25 am

weeniest


Hi, I have not been to any other forum, I know the best and have decided it may be time to ask for help.

20 year old male. Iran (middle east) genetics. Chronic cannabis abuse from the age of 15. No previous SSRI or other drug use.

??

What I do:

8 hours of sleep
caloric maintenance/surplus
adequate protein (150g/day)/fat (100g/day)
3l water daily
daily sauna/shower
strength training

Symptoms:

If I had to label my personality, I would point to symptoms of schizoid/schizotypal personality disorder or a schizophrenic personality-type in general. Socially active, but difficulty when it comes to having conversations with random women (no other social anxiety; no problem approaching women for the purpose for the purpose of their phone number)

daily reminiscence of past (sometimes in my dreams too)
cheek biting
derealization (+ overly serious)
occasional compulsive thoughts
blunted emotions, serious
desire for passivity/escapism (youtube/netflix)
no libido from year 3
small ejaculations, not a lot (less then before)
can eat a lot of food at once
frequent cravings for junk food/fast food
slight delay/difficulty urinating (more so afternoon/evening)
frequent urination
enlarged prostate (prostate/urination possibly symptoms of my bulking?)
high alcohol tolerance
no motivation besides daily routine
procrastination for tasks that don’t need to be finished in time

Some mental traits may help:
(symptoms don't appear to be getting worse so far)

realist/dreamer/big goals
intellectual - logic dominant, patient in life
above average musical ability
autopilot focus during exercise
mental capacity to exercise in morning + work overtime labor work (55 - 65 hours weekly)

Supplements (split breakfast/lunch):

active b complex
1g choline bitartrate
300mg vitamin c
100% vitamin d/calcium
10g creatine
1g magnesium glycine (morning split only)
3.3g magnesium taraute
1g shilajit (tried somewhat targeting serotonin, helps libido acutely slightly)
2g grape seed extract
750mg/750mg lemon balm extract
3.5g n acetyl cysteine

Wonderful article on Magical Thinking. Very helpful read! The topic covered and info excellent, post more of these kinds of articles!

For the record I was the one who requested the Low GABA symptoms  Cool  I think introversion vs extroversion neurochemistry would be a good idea.



Last edited by weeniest on Sat May 18, 2019 7:48 am; edited 3 times in total

2Hey, finally a forum member Empty Re: Hey, finally a forum member on Mon May 13, 2019 1:37 pm

weeniest


I'm trying out 400mg caffeine 5 days a week. 2 days in is great so far, motivation and energy is way up and it feels like everything from my stack is connected together now, like I have an easier time feeling the effects of everything I take... and everything is powered synergistically together. I'm using it only on my training days (5 days in the week) to help against tolerance within the most important days. I've had to raise the lemon balm extract to 1.5g split in the daytime alongside in my stack to fight insomnia and manic-like symptoms, modulate the caffeine.

somewhat less cheek biting
somewhat less derealization/more colour in life
somewhat less serious
somewhat more emotion
dramatically lowered appetite (not a problem at all)
possible somewhat lowered alcohol tolerance (will try/update)
increased confidence (was never a problem internally; I would say increased more so external human interaction, etc)
increased verbal fluency
increased motivation
increased positivity
overall increased mental wellbeing

Not sure of effects on urination/sex yet.

I have adrafinil + fasoracetam arriving this week. I don't even think its necessary, but I will surely be adding it in the third week and cycle both of them each with the caffeine weekly. Fasoracetam/Adrafinil 65mg/650mg switched and put with caffeine weekly.

I will post an update within 2 weeks. I will in around 2 weeks however be going on a cycle of russianstarpeptide's DHT cream. Around the 15 - 20 day mark I will stop with the stimulants until I find out when I will stop the DHT cream.

DHT cycle:

TITAN DHT 50% pro
Transdermal PGE1
strict 3000 calories - caloric surplus until bodyweight goes up to 200lb which will then become maintenance for my soon to be permanent bodyweight for the next close years...

So far I think it may be low adrenaline/low activation OCD. Other good reads from area1255.

3Hey, finally a forum member Empty Re: Hey, finally a forum member on Sat May 18, 2019 4:19 am

weeniest


A little quicker update, on the 17th yesterday I was parked in my car and had about 4 police officers approach me looking around my car while one came and talked to me. I was parked in a secluded part of the parking lot, so they probably got the idea I was up to no good.

Long story short I was asked for my ID which I surrendered after being threatend to have my car searched, once I handed my ID I was told to step out of my car, was patted down, wallet and socks searched, car was searched.

Through the whole process my thoughts were uncontrolled/racing. I first questioned the officer to as if I was doing anything wrong when he asked  for my ID, in which he gave me the threat. I originally went to park at the location to use burger king's washroom, and I also changed into shorts from pants because it was hot outside. When I was first asked about what I was doing there, I just blanked out and said "I just came here to stop for a second" and when he asked again, I started blanking out. I didn't have a criminal record, I didn't have any arrestable/criminal offence (only a ticketable regulatory offence of alcohol not put in the trunk); It was all a mess. I had rights which they broke, and I definitely with adequate verbal fluency and presentable speaking quality could have steered the harassment away. I'm somewhat emotionally drained, derealization flared up, and feeling a lot of negative emotions from the day before of course (being somewhat rattled)

I apologize for the excess information, but I'm just putting perspective. I'm not exactly what's responsible in my brain chemistry that's caused this, I'm shocked I reacted. I am almost sure I do not have low gaba.

On another note, I've been wanting to make the switch from lemon balm to valerian but I'm not sure about valerians toxicity (2 - 3 case studies?)

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