I was very excited to find your website and forum about 6 months back. I have been lurking here since then and I must say that I really admire your knowledge about pssd.
So I would like to share my pssd story so, especially since I have a symptom which I havent seen many others have. This symptom is numbness in lower abdomen and difficulty passing urine aswell as sensing when to pee etc cause of the numbness. I write more about it further down.
Sorry if its alot of text..
So Im a man in my mid twenties and I was on Citalopram for 4-5 months. And it was pretty much 6 years ago since I went on this medication. So about 5.5 years since I got pssd.
And its only now during this last couple of months that I have started taking supplements and meds to combat this problem.
The reason for why it took me so long is that for a long time I was confusing my pssd with PIED(Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction). And the reason for that is the way my pssd evolved.
Like I said I was on the ssri for almost 5 months. I took 20mg of Citalopram and tapered off exactly as my doctor told me which was to go two weeks on 10mg and then stop. Which is what I did.
My pssd symptoms showed up I think during the days or the week after I took my last pill. Though I had alot of genital numbness and I believe pleasureless orgasms while being on the ssri aswell. But after I went off the drug the symptoms kind of took a different shape aswell as becoming more.
So in the week after my last pill of ssri, I remember it as one day I woke up and something felt really off in my lower abdomen. Like I had lost sensation between my umbilical and genitals. I was experiencing quite some unconfort aswell in that lower abdomen region.
When I went to the toilet I had problems passing urine (low flow).
Due to my penis being like "half erect". Im not talking morning wood. Sort of like rubber, hard but soft at the same time. Especially the part of the penis thats inside the body. Like a 5-10% erection and the part of the penis thats inside the body was more "erect". This as you can imagine makes it difficult to pass urine. So from that day on I felt the need to sit down when peeing. The thing is though, that it was not necessarily uncomfortable and it was not painful for me to pee and having this " 10% half erection".
But these symptoms was so clear that I can remember and know for a fact that something changed in me that day/week.
But to sum up and list the symptoms I was experiencing at this stage:
Lower abdomen numbness, which included my bladder which led to me having problems sensing if bladder was full.
Difficulties passing urine as described more in detail above.
No real sensation when orgasm.
Ill add that it was quite clear that I had some sort of anhodenia. Because I felt a bit numbed out mentally. But at the time I experienced it almost as a positive. Since the years prior to taking ssri I was suffering from quite extreme anxiety. Where I had been obsessing about certain things for over a year at the time of taking the ssri. It was alot of "what if " thoughts. But now suddenly these thoughts did not bother me anymore and I felt like I had been given a numbing filter that shielded me from my prior sensitivities.
I was also easily hooked to computer games prior to ssri. While after it didnt interest me as much and I could have days where there was nothing at all that I really felt like doing. Later on when combined with feeling depressed, I would find myself in a state of apathy.
So as you can see I had some positives among the negatives and eventhough I had no real sensation at the point of orgasm. I was still able to easily get hard to porn and it was still pleasureable.
This continued for about 3months. Then I was noticing how I needed more and more specific porn etc to turn me on. And about 5 months after stopping ssri I was completely unable to get hard to porn. Then I was introduced to the website yourbrainonporn. So I thought It would help to go on a NoFap. Which it did.
And Nofap helps me to quicker get to what people with pssd call windows. So I would try to stay away from porn and masturbation (it was kind of pointless to do anyway since I could barely get hard) for a couple of months and then get a window where everything functioned quite well.
I would say I had about two more windows that first year. With the last one lasting about 1.5 month before I would be completely unable to get hard.
Then after that I went into another NoFap in which I ended up getting into what NoFappers call "flatline". This flatline lasted for about 7-8months. Where It was just pretty much pointless and to try to masturbate. The reason I stuck to it was that during the first year I believed I could quite efficiently get through "flatlines" with just a month or two of NoFap.
People with pssd I believe call these periods for waves. When its not functioning properly.
And the way I would describe these waves is that my brain doesnt react at all to any sort of stimulation. And in the leadup to these waves. So when a window is reaching its end. It seems like my brain is releasing less and less dopamine for every time I PMO/MO(Porn Masturbating & orgasm). Or my brain is not reacting to the dopamine. Its also sort of like the PSSD dysfunctions is getting much more evident. Like orgasming without being hard, or having some sort of soft head. Basically weird feeling boners with little to no pleasure.
So long story short:
(2012)First year after ssri was seemingly good with some waves
(2013)Second year I had a huge wave, what I thought to be a Flatline from NoPmo.
(2014)My third year and after the big "flatline" I was able to get hard to porn but my erections felt stale and pleasureless. I was thinking that this huge flatline and NoFap was a terrible Idea. And I had big waves during the year.
(2015)On my fourth year after going off ssri it started off with a almost six month Window.. Which was made possible I believe due to the fact that the prior year ended with a long wave. During this window I did MO to porn.
(2016)During the fifth year I was simply trying to stay away from porn and healing more. I knew and had known about pssd all along. But the years until now I had considered the dysfunction to be caused maybe 70% by porn and 30% by ssri. However during this and the next year(current year) this opinion have changed. Since I have stayed away from porn almost completely. And I have gone through windows without using porn and just normal MO. And still reaching the same effect as when using porn i.e the end of the window and start of a new wave. Also you almost never hear of people in the NoFap community that is unable to get hard to porn. Their only issue is that they cant get it on IRL due to porn. Which I cant either for that matter. Anyhow..
(2017)So about six months ago I decided that I probably need to try supps and meds to get anywhere.
So let me list my current symptoms:
The numb feeling in the lower abdomen has been eliviated it seems.
However my problem of sensing if the bladder is full hasnt changed(still problem). And let me go more in detail about this problem since I havent found many other pssd sufferes with this issue. So basically my "peeing sense" is very vague. There is a lessen feeling but also more inaccurate. So I never feel like I REALLY need to go. But I can have a slight feeling of needing to go eventhough my bladder is not full. Since that makes me go to soon, overtime I "shrink" my bladder. Sometimes It has gotten to the point that it goes about 30-40 min between my visits to the bathroom. However I have been able to combat this quite efficiently by "stretching it back". It can be done over 3-4 days by drinking good amount of water and letting it go atleast 3-4 hours between wc visits. But the problem isnt solved just eliviated since the lessend sense is still there and its still a bit inaccurate.
The issue of passing urine is also the same(still problem),
***Also this problem (urination and passing urine) is not affected by the Window/Wave situation . It seems to operate completely separately. It can actually work better during a wave since my penis can get completely relaxed and not rubber like then.
Orgasm is still crap but like I said before its not a huge Issue for me since during a Window its still very pleasurable during, just the time of orgasm is very Meh...
My anhodenia seems to have lessend quite a bit. Its not a issue I would say.
The worst problem is the sexdrive, basically my inability to get aroused. This is what I described with the windows and waves. I believe its something related to dopamine. And normally guys can masturbate whenever they feel like it. But for me its like the dopamine system is not in sync with the rest of the sexdrive system. So i have the urge to "fap" but my brain doesnt act on it. Its like if I masturbate more than 2-3 times a week and that being without porn. Then I am heading towards a "wave" or what i believe to be dopamine receptors getting desensitized. But If go with less than that my libido can go into hybernate sort of.
So it seems to me that my dopamine receptors can get desensitized too fast and too easy while it seems that a wave can re sensitize them.
That makes me think that a normal person has either more receptors or receptors that dont get desensitized as easily or re sensitizes themselves much quicker. So much that it can keep up with the other parts of the sexual machinery.
So since I found Area 1255 I have taken a bottle of Shilajit dragon herbs
I was taking it during june and august. In the firt two weeks I took it together with yohimbine
This is the bottle and the only link I could find now:
Yohimbine is illegal in sweden so it was difficult for me to find a good brand. So not sure if that one is good. It seem that yohimbe bark is not the same as yohimbine. :S
I was working during that time and I got alot of social anxiety. So I stopped both for a while but later continued with just the shilajit.
Now I study so I jumped on yohimbe again just a few days ago.
I also went on Icariin 60% together with Ginkgold. And have currently been taking that for a little over a month.
I also take vitamin C, vitamin B-complex, and L-arginine. Because you said somewhere thats good to take together with Icariin and Ginkgold.
The effect so far was good at first. Basically I had a strong sexdrive for about three weeks.
But now I have sort of hit the end of that "window". But I cant tell completely yet. I want to give it some more time. I have one more bottle of icariin and plenty of Ginkgold. So I will be taking it for another month.
I also usually train resistance training on a regular, atm 3-5 times a week. I have a very healthy bodyfat, I dont eat much sugar, I almost eat LCHF diet. I dont do any endurance training though. Which I have considered doing since I heard it helps ur dopamine system heal.
So everything I wrote above the line I actually wrote about 3 months ago. At the time I thought I was going into a wave (low sexdrive). But for this whole time I have actually had a great sexdrive. It only went down a couple of weeks when I ran out of Icariin. So I have been taking Icariin 60 and Ginkgold and it has been working very good.
I was actually really surprised since I didnt expect that the problem could be fixed with a PDE5 inhibitor. Since It had such a good effect I will try cialis aswell in the future.
When I ran out of Ginkgold I tried going with only Icariin. But It seems like they have a good synergy effect. Cuz I noticed my sexdrive lowering. I also wanna add that I believe the ginkgold helped alot with anxiety. I felt very happy and I think it was because of it.
Next I will try taking a herb mixture with
Tribulus Terrestris, Muira Puama, Avena Sativa , Maca Root, Epimedium and Damiana. Since I heard that they have a really good synergy effect. I will also take Ginkgold with it.
So at the moment im really satisfied with the effects of just the herbal remedies. And I read your PSSD Part 3. And I will test other things if I feel the need to and report it here in this thread.
What Im interested to hear is your thoughts on my problems related to urinating, that issue remains unchanged btw. To be honest its not something I suffer from a great deal. I more want to share it and Im curious to hear your thoughts and theories about it.
Thanks alot in advance
I would also like to know from other members about their experience with windows & waves. And what is a healthy amount of masturbation for other pssd sufferers if any at all.